I was cast as the lead, Tom, in a new writing play by Natalie Baker, 'What We Are Now'.
It was about a man who is in a mental institution after a terrible event between himself and his wife. A year has passed and it is Tom's 30th birthday. His wife turns up after this absence.
I was struck by the terrible banality of the agony Tom suffers within the writing. Natalie painted a picture of domestic awkwardness that hid a deeper horror, a real horror that touched me from my own experiences of substance abuse. Furthermore, Rosemary Hill, the artistic director of the company and director of the piece itself, employed aspects of Meisner and method acting that drew from myself hidden details and motivations.
It was hard work indeed. Usually I employ technique to achieve the heights needed to convey terrible breakdowns and the like but here, using these aspects of 'emotion memory' and embracing the more theoretical process, intellectualising the motivation behind not only the play itself, but specific moments in the text, it was hard graft, emotionally draining and difficult.
I believe I achieved new things however. I have always used technique as I said, but that is not to say I always shied away from method in my portrayals. It's impossible to know exactly how the fabled Prince of Denmark felt about seeing his father's ghost but one can look at moments with one's own father and template those sensibilities onto a performance.
I have never murdered either, but I can look at the motivations behind murder and employ a rationale that I then expound through the evidence in the text.
I did find my beliefs challenged by Rosemary Hill. Her method required me to create Tom further than what was there in the text. I don't normally do this at all; the text is God to me. If it is there, it is valid, everything else is theory that can distract from the task at hand. But, back story and improvisation based on Tom and his wife's past became invaluable. With an open mind, we played scenarios in rehearsal that described how the pair met, how they reacted to the devastating news that features in the play and how they expressed their love to one another.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am well versed in such experiences as an actor. To me however, as Bill Murray sort of said, 'If the part fits, I find things in me to portray it' ~ the instinct of a part becomes a silent narrative and I execute it without thought, I work fast to show these moments that a back story would yield. But, to take time to focus on these instincts, rather than simply trust them, was a welcome reminder of them. It helped enormously despite leaving me emotionally drained after each rehearsal and performance.
I found new things from old things and learnt new approaches to the work.
That is always a good thing for an actor.
The Play's The Thing Theatre are currently rehearsing 'Trailer Trash' by Mike Elliston, performing in early July.
Trailer Trash
