Red Card Comedy Club ~ 30th June

I have to be honest, I really didn't expect much from this night of stand up. I find live stand up can be a very excruciating experience, especially if the performer is off kilter. I'm hyper critical anyway, seeing the art of stand up akin to a well rehearsed dance sequence or a souffle risen to perfection.

How wrong I was. First of all, me old mate Pippa Evans was in the line up and she's a good egg, having recently won an Olivier Award with her ensemble for the smash hit improv show, 'Showstoppers'. I can't really critique her as I have worked with her in the past, albeit before her fame and fortune, but I found her as charming, quick witted and as delightful as ever she was.

The compere was a bit of a surprise for my missus though. Geoff Norcott used to teach her English and we both saw a near glimmer of recognition in his sardonic eye, the line of which falling on us in the second row of the odd, wedding reception like set up. His comedy was rather spot on, despite having voted 'Leave', something he didn't really explain (aside from an incongruous Muslim joke that was rather for the sake of a Muslim joke) although it took a while to warm to him. This being Norwich, he took the standard line of insulting those in the audience stupid enough not to tell him to fuck off and tell some jokes; all in good banter of course. He touched on Brexit mistakenly thinking Norfolk was an Out camp. Of course, Norwich voted Remain, but noone, least of all me, felt the need to correct him. He was quick witted, confident and shiny. He worked the crowd well and prepared us for the other comics.

Alas, Tom Toal was rather out of his depth, losing the momentum of the 'fat guy with nerdish edge' trope after a well received semen/pineapple gag that became a motif. He lacked the tightness of his compere and meandered rather a lot. He virtually sprinted off the stage at the end, to tepid applause. But this audience wanted him to be funny, he simply lacked delivery and timing. Scrub it up Tom, the material was ok, just needed a confidence and perhaps some eye contact...

The headline act was Carey Marx, and wowsers, what a treat. It was a set of blinding one liners, perfectly pitched observations, world weary grumpiness and a respect for where he was. I was crying with laughter, he didn't let up for a second, loving the applause, loving the moments of outraged laughter, of shocked delight. Yes, he was blue, but it was ironic in many ways and worked brilliantly. He talked about classic situations and made them his own, men, women, the problems with misappropriating gender to inanimate objects, (a MAN bag??).

His quips enlightened as well as amused: 'I'm going bald' he announced to us, which we could obviously see, 'my friends think I should shave it all off...I'm not going to do that, if you get a tooth knocked out, you don't yank out the rest do you?'

The Red Card Comedy Club is a Norwich gem and was packed out. Do catch a show there if you can.

Website here:

Ten Questions with ~ Phyllis Edna Dorothy Sellers

Phyllis Edna Dorothy Sellars, alternately nicknamed "Salty" Sellars (by Kris Kristofferson) and Peds,  (by her nephew Edmund), is an 84-year old former actress and slap-bass session guitarist turned scholar, raconteur and after-dinner speaker, based in Norwich, Norfolk. 

A Saggitarius, she was born on December 2nd 1931 at her parent's home near Schole on the Norfolk/Suffolk border and educated at a girls' school in Norwich, working for a few years in a shoe shop before emigrating to America where she married and divorced twice (no offspring, no regrets) and carved a career encompassing many media of performance, the most monetarily successful of these being her years as a funk and soul musician.

She worked closely with James Brown for a time. In the 1980s she relocated back to Norwich to care for her ailing parents, joined the Open University and gained first a degree in Philosophy and then an MA in classical studies - she is very glad that her parents lived to see her collect these qualifications. She is still an active student today  and has written papers on a diverse range of subjects including esoteric religon, mystery cults and women in literature and the arts. 

Hobbies include beekeeping, Greek Dance and attending Supper Clubs where she is happy to speak after dinner on a range of subjects.  She hopes soon to finish her book of memoirs Da Funk: Get on Uppa my Freaky Soul Train  and would very much like one day to be a guest on  The Craig Charles Funk and Soul Show.She went to Charles' recent live night at Open in Norwich and had an absolute whale of a time. A foodie, her favourite chef is Yottam Ottolenghi. Her favourite classic novel is Wuthering Heights and her favourite films are a toss-up between Any Which Way but Loose  (belly laughs) and The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea (sentimental reasons).

Her first documentary film At Home with Phyllis can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMj0Jhu_SGU

1. Hi Phyllis, what have you just done?

Well might you ask, young Simon m'laddio, well might you ask.

I've had several irons ith' fire as t'were including dealing with an insurrection of bees (the queen escaped from m'new hive shortly after delivery leading all the bees to swarm and take up residence in the coat rack; this has led to m'front porch being very much off limits for some time), finishing m'new book o'memoirs Da Funk: Get on Uppa my Freaky Soul Train (it's about my years in the nineteen sixties and seventies as a sessions slap-bass guitarist in the US of A - had to give the bass up recently, 'cause of the old arthritis y'see - and my passion for the genre overall), and researching and preparing for my various upcoming motivational talks and scholarly lectures, the latest of which is on the representation women in ninteenth century literature. 

Most pertinent to your readership perhaps, is the completion of m'latest fly-onth'-wall documentary film, Phyllis and Friends - The List,  which documents a fair amount of m'recent doings. It all came about when m'neighbour Geoffrey got his hands on a digital movie camera and asked me if he could practice his technique upon m'self. He says he's put his wife (I don't know her name, she doesn't ever come round; I think she's allergic to angora) in charge of editing and distribution of said film; apparently it is onth' Tube of You. 

(It certainly is and can be viewed at this link https://www.youtube.com/my_videos?o=U  -Geoffrey's wife. PS yes the angora is an issue; I have only to look at a beret and I break out in terrible courgette-shaped hives. My name is Elaine. She does know. She just can't be bothered to remember.)

2. Why did you choose to be a performer?

Aha, well! I have always been drawn to drama! In 1946, when I was fifteen, I spent the school Easter Hols hunting Nazis in the Swiss Alps with my chums Ginger, Betty, and Jane (it’s a long story; we were supposed to be skiing) and consequently failed m'school leavers' exams due to not having done enough revision. Had I passed, I would have gone up to sixth form, and begun studying to become a school teacher like m'dad. So, lucky escape, perhaps! 

As t'was I worked as a shop girl selling shoes in Norwich for a bit, but m'sense of adventure could neither be quashed nor quelled, so I saved up m'shillings and by the time I was 19 I was able to emigrate to New York's Greenwich Village! I hadn't a clue what I'd do, but once there, I found the lifestyle suited me extraordinarily well, and threw m'self headlong into bohemia, initially making and selling abstract art and performing self-written beat poetry (which is why I learned to play bass - double bass initially then bass guitar as 'twas far less cumbersome), then branching out into other avenues of self-expression. It was during this period that I began to dabble in all manners of live performance. I was in a lot of experimental plays with The Living Theatre and the Theatre of the Absurd and I was a photographic model for Irving Klaw. He filmed me for Teaserama (1955) and Buxom Beautease (1956) however my bold and daring performances ended up onth' cutting room floor. They were, Irving said, brilliant but simply too avant-garde for his market.  He was very concerned about censorship. And rightly so, as it turned out. I was disappointed at the time but it led to further opportunities later on in life - breast and bottom doubling in feature movies, and so forth. I have never been shy in front ofth' lens! 

All that was a rather roundabout way of trying to explain to your dear readers that I did not so much choose to be a performer but that being a performer chose me! 

3. What influences your artistic choices?

Does it excite? Does it thrill? Does it make the nervous system thrum? Does it express? Does it reveal? If yes, proceed, brave voyager!

Increasingly one must add the question "does the range of movement allow it?". I'm 84 now and there is only so much the miracles of yoga and Greek Dance can do!

4. What do you think is missing from the arts in the UK?

A sense of freedom. 'Tis all bound up with the chasing of ever-decreasing pots o'funding and having to articulate the social worth of one's project before 'tis even begun. He that pays the piper... When I was just starting out we did not worry so much about all that. Funding and such. We bohemians expressed what we felt needed expressing, and we found ways to do so on the thinnest of shoestrings. We did not stop to ask "but is this acceptable?" We did not make business plans! The fact that we were free to express and that we were showing others - the squares, as t'were - that one could live and think freely was a social benefit! It was the social benefit! We were shockingly poor, of course, but then we didn't have such great expectations from our standard of living as the young do today. We didn't feel the need to "have it all". I arrived in New York with two pairs of shoes and three frocks. When I left in the mid-60s to go on the road as a bass guitarist, I still had two pairs of shoes and three frocks (admittedly not the same ones). But now I had a bass guitar as well.

5. Do you think an artist should always be paid for their work?

Speaking as one of th' original beat bohemians I have to say no.  In those early days, I would paint m'paintings and perform m'poetry and hope to get enough from that so I could add it to the tips I got waiting at tables and what-have-you and save up for a treat, but looking at some of those daubs that I didn't manage to sell, and the scribbles in m'poetry book of yore I have to say to myself: "Phyllis, old bean, how could you ever have expected anyone to purchase that old toot and tosh?"

Because you see the painting and the poetry and the acting was an expression of what I felt inside, and really, I was doing it for m'self. To enrich the soul as t'were. If people wanted to pay for that then that was a bonus. But I couldn't expect them to, now, could I? Especially as a lot of it was, frankly, rubbish. Had I stopped doing it simply because I wasn't earning a living from it, I feel I would have been cutting off m'nose to spite m'face.   Waitressing and posing forth' naughty photos, that was what I expected to be paid for.

When I started working as a  session musician I think I considered m'self very fortunate that this was a living with regular income. I did not necessarily feel it was m'due. 

Here's m'maxim, f'what it is worth: One may work as as an artist, but not all the art one produces must be work.

6. Who is your favourite artist and why?

Kris Kristofferson without a shadow of a doubt! A marvellous actor and musician and first rate fellow. And such eyes! I first met him on the set of The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea (1976) and fell a little in love with him - should probably draw a veil over the details for the sake of his children, however will reveal that it was he who gave me m'nickname, Salty Sellars. Yes, how lucky I was that Sarah Miles requested a breast double (m'self) for that particular outing!

 7. What is your favourite medium?

Oh, live work. That veritable throb of excitement. Nothing compares! It is life itself!

8. Where is your favourite place in Norfolk?

I do enjoy a run out to the old coaching in in Schole (The Schole Inn). It has the air of the M.R. James about it. To sit in their armchair in front of a roaring fire, with a good chum and a bottle o'port between us, swapping ghost stories, is one of the great pleasures of older age.

9. Dog or cat.

Oh, cat. A dog is too much like a child for my liking. 

10. And finally, what is next for you?

Still plodding away at the old memoir (Da Funk)... more talks... meeting of m'hermetic order in a couple o'weeks (must get the wizardly robes laundered)... man coming to deal with the bees tomorrow... meat raffle at Th' Stinking Weasel midweek... Greek Dance Club (that's weekly of a Friday evening)... I hope to find time in m'schedule to help neighbour Geoffrey continue practicing his camera work by letting him document a couple more episodes of interest in m'life.  M'nephew Edmund will be coming across later in the year and is quite a characterful old bean so perhaps an out-and-about with him would be a fitting subject for consumption.

Phyllis is the creation of Norfolk-born actress, Joanna Swan. We are at pains to point out that the incident regarding The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With the Sea  is fictitious. To the best of our knowledge, Sarah Miles did not require a breast double nor did Kristofferson break his marriage vows on set